Getting Old

One of my friends recently announced, “As far as I can tell there’s not one damn thing good about getting old.” He’s in his early fifties. I’m much older so it’s akin to listening to one of my children talk about something they have yet to experience. My response is a quiet, all knowing smile. Things don’t change, people do.

Aging is something we will all do. It’s not a choice. The only choice involved is in how you deal with it, work with it, or wrestle it into the ground. It sneaks up on you too and never plays fair. Not that anything in life is ‘fair’ per se, it just is. How you act or react is what really matters because that puts you in control.

Some people age faster than others or appear to. Our society has all sorts of phrases that are supposed to be flattering to older people such as, “She’s seventy years young.” Or “Are you really that old? You certainly don’t look it!” Another all time favourite, “Eeeewwww wrinkles; you really should get a face lift.” and I’m sure there are hundreds of other patronizing examples all of us have heard or even said at various times during our lives. Once you get “old” you don’t get a lot of options. You’re expected to dress a certain way, live in a retirement home, and behave according to a set of standards made up by someone called, “THEY.” Almost sounds like the rest of your life doesn’t it?

Attitudes

Just about everything you encounter throughout your lifetime will have the seed for failure or the seed for success. The result depends on your attitudes. It’s amazing how much in life depends on attitudes.

Aging is Sneaky

Remember when you turned thirty, and wondered how it happened so fast; and then it seemed like no time at all and you were looking forty and feeling fifty. With every decade that slid by you wondered where the time went.

So much importance is given to age in our society. “Respect your elders!” Remember that one? What if those “elders are complete SOBs, does age give them license? Some people think that once you get older that suddenly by some sort of magic osmosis you become wise, benign and cuddly. In my experience, if you were an SOB at 40–50 yrs you’ll just be a worse one at 70 and 80. Practice you know…

It has to do with your own core. If you never embrace change then change will not hug you back. You will be what and who you have always been. The survivors are those who do what they’ve always done, live where they want to live, dress the way they want to dress and continue to push forward like they usually do. Change is part and parcel of their lifestyle.

Having said that, there are and will be barriers. For one thing as you age, you start to lose muscle mass and you slow down considerably depending on your health levels. Your health will suddenly respond to all the abuse you gave it when you were younger. Your organs will suddenly begin to give out because they just couldn’t keep up with all those late nights and all that alcohol, coffee, or anything else that was used to excess. You will feel completely betrayed by your body.

Your brain unless you keep it active will also slow up. You’ll have a much wider experience bank to draw from, if you’ve kept track and bought into the tenets of life long learning. But maybe not.

Your doctor will start to make more money that you do because you’re visiting him or her much more often trying to keep track of your body’s conditions and finding ways and drugs to counteract those debilitating conditions.

For many people aging is not a fun time. For others it’s a vast relief. Any time you’re dealing with people the opinions and experiences are legion. Yours will be up to you.

Positive Aging

Most countries now have suddenly realized that the population has shifted and we have more “oldies” now than we have “youngies.” That should say something politically but I’m not sure what. Governments around the planet are promoting “Positive Aging” as an attitude and lifestyle. I have to agree with them. Most of the “negative aging” seemed to get its energy from those much younger and sadly many oldies bought into it and believed it.

Anyone who gets the opportunity to go to one of the many conferences on Positive Aging should go. It’s innervating, instructive, and a heck of a lot of fun. You’ll meet some people you never knew and run into others you used to know. In any event it’s a good experience and will give you a boost if you feel age is dragging you down. It’s also great to attend conferences organized and planned by someone else and not have to be a presenter.

“Change is inevitable-except from a vending machine.” (R.C. Gallagher.)

My aunt used to say, “When you stop changing you’re through!” She meant you have to keep up with the times and banish the fear of new experiences. Sometimes people get complacent and banish change from their lives as much as they can because they’ve found a comfort zone and they nest in it and woe betide anyone who upsets that nest.

The real power is the one we all possess. To change ourselves, to reconstruct ourselves into the kind of person we want to be. To reinvent ourselves rather than to follow all the programming drilled into us when we were youngsters. To make a decision based on what you believe rather than on what you’ve been told to believe.

You don’t have to wait for old age for any of that change. You can make positive changes at any age. You can reconstruct yourself at any age and you can reinvent a YOU that you’ll be completely happy with by becoming your own best friend and giving yourself the permissions to blossom and flower the way that’s best for you. Age has nothing to do with it.

Change your socks, your mind, your partner, your car, your house, your world. Not for the sake of change, but to open opportunities for yourself that allow you to grow into the person you want to be at any age.

BLT  -  Birth, Life, and Tomorrow

It’s all up to you. Stay well.